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What does the F in orphan stand for?

FAMILY 😭😭

*IT'S DEPRESSING THIS PAGE EXISTS*

I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

What's the opposite of an exorcism?

When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...

Why did the blonde have sex with the Mexican?

Because her teacher told her she had to do an essay.

Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"

There is this little boy, and he gets in the shower with his mom and looks up and says, "Mommy, what are those?"

She replies with, "These are my headlights."

He looks down and says, "Mommy, what's that?" She says, "That's my garage."

So he gets out of the shower and gets in with his dad and looks down and says, "What is that?" The dad says, "This is my snake."

Later that night, he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, turn off your headlights and close your garage. Daddy's snake is trying to get in!"