The jokes

Hey guys! Just a reminder that the guy below me is a crying bitch! Have a good day!

Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!

Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.

What's one similarity between the twin towers and gender?

There used to be 2, and now it's a sensitive subject.

Yo mama so ugly that when she watched The Outsiders, they became The Insiders.

Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.

Yo mama so ugly that when the Kool-Aid Man busted through her wall, he said, “Oh no!”

Why did the house go to the doctor?

Because it had a window pane.

Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.

Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.

Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.

My life is like... the shoe rack-

What is the difference between genders and the Twin Towers?

They used to be two, now it's a touchy subject.

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator won’t fart when you pull the meat out.

Holy cow!

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”