The jokes
See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.
What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."
Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.
Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest
Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?
The black one... he's 13!
Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get on the person's face.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.
Your mom is so fat the space shuttle can see her from 10,000 miles away.
A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.
But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?
You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.
Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.
As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers and the middle one's for you.
Here's a sex joke.
What's the best part of having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them.
There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...
How many emos does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, because they just cry in the darkness.
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.