The jokes
Yo mama so fat that she walked in front of the TV, and I missed a whole episode of iCarly.
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
Name 1 way to decrease overpopulation:
Get rid of all the suicide prevention lines so the suicidal people can kill themselves.
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.
A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.
Once Roblox popped up in my server, be like, "Roblox, what are you doing?"
Me: "What the heck?" Me: "How did I get in your server?"
Roblox: "You've been banned for just cheating!"
One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.
The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.
Why were the people on the World Trade Center so pissed?
People, they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?
The Twin Towers hit the ground.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a drawer?
The drawer has papers.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Q) What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
A) About 400 calories.
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
There's something on your chin, no, the third one down.
What planet did Hitler hate the most?
Jewpiter.
What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
The inspiration for Chuck Norris to be in Walker, Texas Ranger is by decoding each of the letters in the title.
Walker, Texas Ranger = Wrangler, Karate, Sex!