The jokes
When Stephen Hawking died, did they take him to the hospital or PC World?
It sucks that Stephen Hawking died so soon, the new Intel update just came out.
Riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp.
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
Who is Stephen Hawking's wife?
The American Siri.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
What’s black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Rosa Parks.
Lol.
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
Have you seen the new movie "Constipated"?
No, it hasn't come out yet.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.