The jokes
Once upon a time... Chuck Norris stepped on a Lego. R.I.P. the Lego piece.
Dead people can’t cross the street because they're dead, ha ha!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
It didn't have the guts to do it.
Why did the clown stop smiling?
Someone chopped his lips off.
What's the difference between a duck?
One of its legs are both the same!
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded?
Everywhere.
Q: Why did Sally survive the car accident?
A: She hit an ambulance.
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
-"I want my quarterback."
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best chum! :)
Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.
What’s the most common name for cancer patients?
Luke (leukemia)
Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."
All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
You never told me you were part orangutan. Have you considered taking a vacation to Planet of the Apes?
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
What did the cholo say when the house fell on him?
"Get off me, homes!"