The jokes
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.
What did the cow tell an Indian?
Moo!
What did the Indian say to the cow?
I lowe you, moo than anything.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To run away from the Pakistani.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a tap?
The tap can run.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
The lettuce and tomato were in a race. The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?
Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his mother in the jaw
So three retards walk into a classroom...
Sike, it was the garbage. They mistook it for their classroom.
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
What did the Pokemon lover say when he got to the shoe store?
I have to Pikashoe.
Who are the fastest readers in the world? The 9/11 terrorists went through like 78 stories in 7 seconds.
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.