The jokes

Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.

They took him to PC World for repairs.

Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?

To see who's hanging around.

Question: How bad is German WiFi?

Answer: It's the wurst.

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

Paper.

Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!

I was remembering the time when I lost my brother, only until I heard that hide and seek wasn't the best idea, especially in a secluded parking lot in downtown.

Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."

Don't you hate it when you do the dishes, but then you realize it wasn't the dishes?

"I had a great day today." "Why?" "Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, 'Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?'"

Two cows in a field.

One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"

The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"

One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.

What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!

Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.

What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.

But if you're vegan, you call him food.

If you're poor, you eat the skin.

What did the orphan get for Christmas?

Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.

Question: Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?

Answer: Tequila

What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?

A tromBONE.

You make the juice go through my power brick.

Hey, do you know why America sucks? We have the death penalty.

Two pencils walking down the street.

Which one hasn’t got AIDS?

The one with the rubber on.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked if she wanna. Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and they had a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill, now they have a son.