The jokes
Why did the boy get run over?
Sally was driving.
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Where did the moon go to space? To the moon!
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
When a white person says the n word,
black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
My mom walks in a bar and the bartender says "water?" saying "we only sell beer!"
Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.
(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You can't beat a cheetah!
What did the dirt say to the embers?
You look smoking hot.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
A: The homepage.
So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."
Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."
And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."
I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"