The jokes
Why are there no Olympics in Mexico?
Because everyone from Mexico that can run, jump, and swim is already over the border.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus!
Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?
Everywhere!
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.
What did the boy goat say to his girlfriend?
You're my boo!
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
Worst joke ever.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Worst joke ever.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Nobody finds that one funny.
What did the parrot say when it saw a duck?
"Polly want a quacker!"
Worst joke ever.
Where did the king hide his armies?
In his sleevies.
Worst joke ever.
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Two of the worst jokes ever.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
What's the difference between anal and oral?
Oral makes your day whereas anal makes your whole weak.
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”