The jokes
What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?
"You are a consequence of rape!"
What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
That’s assault!
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.
Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?
A: It’s always 90 degrees.
Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!
Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.
Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!
Sans: Yea bro.
Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini.
The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him.
The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao.
A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"
A funny joke scenario.
Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
What did the cow say to the farmer? Moo away!
So I added Paul Walker on Xbox the other day, and it’s annoying cause all he does is sit on the dashboard.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
Why didn’t the Japanese guy get a high five? Cause Logan Paul left him hanging...
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...