The jokes
What did the roti say to pratha?
You white like a white bastard.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To get to the curry shop.
What did the Indian person say to the lady?
"Curry up, will you?"
Why did the guy like retarded jokes? Because he was a retard himself.
Why did the chicken cross the plane to get to the other skyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lloooooooooooooooooooool?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Did you hear about the elephant with no nose?! Me neither.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he gets to call someone father.
What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?
"Sandy cheeks."
Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell "yo mama" jokes.
Why can't the skeleton go to the prom?
Because he had no-BODY to go with!
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite!
Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.
Man: Your hair color is fabulous.
Woman: I hate your hair color, though.
Man: You look like a dream.
Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Yes, I want you dead.
R.I.P.
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: F*** you, pedophile!
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.
Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch!
Woman: How dare you!
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying "I AM KING OF THE WORLD!"
When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"
What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?
You should leaf it alone!
Bowser ordered his Goomba guards to arrest me because I wrote graffiti on the walls saying "The Koopalings are evil!" "Kill the Koopalings!" and "Down with the Koopalings!"
Roses are red, Larry is bad.
I'VE GOT A GUN, get in the van!
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."