The jokes
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
What's the difference between babies and onions? I cry when I cut onions.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!
Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.
Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait
Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
What's the worst part of a Down Syndrome relationship? There's more downs than ups!
Going in a military.
The last thing I heard from them is: "Goodbye!"
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
His wife forgot to plug his wheelchair into the wall.
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed 3 episodes of your favorite show.
A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.
The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"
There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?
The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because someone booted her in the face. 🤣🤣
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was in a wheelchair! 🤣🤣
Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.
Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!