The jokes

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One day I was working at the bank, doing my job. Then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Then I told her that her balance is un-balanced.

Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.

The brunette brings canteens of water.

The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.

The blonde somehow rips off the car door.

The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"

To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."

  • 3

    • Pope Francis: "What is the hardest thing about nailing a young boy to a cross?"

    "My penis."

  • 2

    • What do Will from "Stranger Things" and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have in common? They're both named Will, and their lives both got flipped, turned upside down.

    I’ll never forget my grandpa's last words to me...

    “Are you still holding the ladder??”

    Did you know Stephen Hawking died in a game? The game was Happy Wheels.

    I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.

    The clock struck one!

    Then down did come!

    Hickory dickory doc

    What am I?

    Random- a mouse?

    Me- no dumb shit!

    Random- what is it?

    Me- the guillotine!

    Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gonna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘re re‘ and you're like ‘re re’ yourself, motherfucker, and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SURPRISE, the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!

  • 0

    • - Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?

    - One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.