The jokes
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers. They went through 110 stories in under 10 seconds.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To check in on his flat mate.
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.
Did you hear about the dyslexic man who walked into a bra?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
'Cause he was on crack.
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
Why did the elephant get kicked out of the public pool?
Because he kept on dropping his trunks! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
What's the best thing about midgets??
They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.
Suicide is never the answer.
Suicide is the question.
The answer is yes.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.
What is the difference between an egg and you? An egg gets laid, and you don't.
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.
A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."