The jokes
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.
Why did Trump's brain cross the road?
Oh wait, there is no other side.
What did the hairdresser say to the power line?
"Want a power cut?"
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
What did the corn say to the flying apple?
"That's corny."
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
True story.
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with!
Me in my dream: What a good day! *rumble* Ooh! What was that?
I wake up and I find myself on the floor.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;
What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧
A priest walks into a wine store.
"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh, you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."
What is the definition of Endless Love?
Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis!
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
What do you call the type of photo an orphan takes?
A selfie.
Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?
...
You do realize that I said nothing, right?
Me: Exactly :)
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.
What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-