The jokes
So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Person one: Why did the boy go home?
Person two: Why?
Person one: Because he had PHOAM work to do!
What did the horse say when his throat was sore?
I have a hoarse throat!
The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking, so I brought home some tampons.
I liked the chocolate mousse cake joke.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
Type this in your calculator:
5 days a week (type in 5),
6 different classes (type in 6),
7 hours a day (type in 7),
x
2 semesters (type in 2),
=
flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
What is the pedophile's favorite shoe?
White vans.
I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.
It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!
Why is the cheetah so fast?
Because it can't walk slow.
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
Why don't you see any more fat Chinese men?
Because the last Chinese man was in WW2.
My teacher said, "Say welcome to our new student; he's an orphan." The teacher said, "Is anyone missing?" I said, "That kid's parents."
Do you know why Jesus is so popular with the ladies??
Haven't you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this... 🤚--------🤪----------✋
I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the British bastard and get the egg roll.