The jokes
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.
Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"
Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.
RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)
Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......
What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
So I was at a class at school, and then boom, explosion. Lots of dead.
I shoot at the people too, haha, goodbye class. Scary.
There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.
The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.
The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.
What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach?
A sea minor.
A "type person" is addicted to eating sugar.
When the doctor saw this, he said,
"From Type 2 Diabetes!"
Get it?
How much did the liver weigh?
It weighed a skeleTON.
Why did the skeleton feel alone?
He was BONEsome.
Times have been so tough lately, I have had to jerk off the dog just to feed the cat.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
If white people turn black when they char, what happens to the black ones?
What is the difference between shroud and a shroud imposter?
Shroud uses reddit, and the imposter uses WJE.
Reddit king and q, I really dgaf what you say, you guys are practically obsessed with me cuz ur leaving hate comments on almost all my jokes, so stop. You're obviously gonna look bad if you just insult meh jokes.
If you guys dont like my jokes, you can just dislike and not leave a comment, ok?
*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.
You know what to do with this?
Get it to the same amount of dislikes and likes!
Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?
A KIDNey!
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup.
And I asked him what he is doing.
Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if I bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits.
Me: Erm... Are you a simp?
Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house.
KG: You have it?
Guy: Yup, now can I play with them?
KG: Sure!
KG then went to her room.
Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. You're gonna call me over and you will be-
KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it.
KG: Have fun playing with them!
Guy: WHAT THE FU-