The jokes
These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer can't explore it!
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
What did the baseball chief say to the Orphan?
GO HOME!
What’s the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
What's the difference between a frog and a skyscraper? The frog can jump. Hahahahaha!
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
Yo mama has such a big forehead, she is the CEO of foreheads!
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
I don't know, go google it.
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
I do not know.
Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!
If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.
An orphan was in 1st grade, and its teacher said to spell "parrot." The boy spelled "Parents."
Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.