The jokes
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?
Because they fear him.
Admins, if you are seeing this, please look in the comments of https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5d521e61d3e53a06d27bc361/why-are-you-censoring-my-friend-franz.
I'm sorry.
"Discuss the synopsis of this poem: My Friend Billy Has A Ten-Foot Willy."
Draw an accurate diagram representing the elephant genitalia. Use all 30 sheets of paper provided.
And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.
Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.
A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.
Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. $12.99 from Ikea.
In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.
It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.
The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"
The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."
Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.
They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.