The jokes
Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.
My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.
Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."
My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.
I still remember my grandpa's last words, "Stop wobbling the ladder, you cunt!"
My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.
I heard that my crush got kicked in the balls and when I thought of it...
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
Mrs. Harolen: Students, tomorrow's assignment is to bring your parents to school for a conference with the teacher information.
Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their parents to a conference. ORPHANS!
Students: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW!
Garen: Hey, why can't orphans get a dog? They don't have their parents to drive them to the animal shelter.
Halen: Yeah! Why are orphans racist? Because they never saw their parents with a different race!
Students: No, that's not funny!
Student: SHUT UP!
Why were the students jealous of the orphan?
He never had any homework!
(I'm going to hell for this)
Karien: Don't care. You know what you did.
Jalie: I don't know what you mean. I did nothing! I'm telling the truth!
Karien: Sure. So you mean you never texted Oerien last night around 2:00 AM?
Jalie: NO, I NEVER DID THAT!
Karien: Jalie, stop the story telling. You were the one who had my phone yesterday. Just stop.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.
Why was Mr. Bean on the River Thames?
He was rowing at Kingston.
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
Why can't the Chinese play baseball? They ate all the bats.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"
To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."
Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."
The police said "How old are you?"
Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.
Joker gives Batman a phone.
Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."
Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"
Why did the wither skeleton fail his test?
Because his answers were netherrite.