The jokes

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

At least one of them gets picked.

People who don't have common sense are just stupid people with ugly hearts. STOP HATING PEOPLE YOU NEVER KNOW! Also write "then exit the f word site," and I think we know that won't happen!!!

I L.O.V.E GWEN!!!!!!

My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?

Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.

People who are bothering Gwen, stop. This is a joke site, and you guys should know that!

People, she is not even 40 or whatever. I see the comments, and they are so stupid. Do you even know her in life? No!!! Shut up and leave her alone!

When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."

What is the difference between a flower and an orphan?

A flower gets picked.

The Twin Towers ordered Domino's, what did they get instead?

What do you call a dad in the mirror?

(Your imagination.)

Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?

Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!

In India, whoever lives facing the roadside, this is for them.

Whenever it starts raining heavily, our homes turn into pool-facing homes because the roads disappear.

What do you call the original immigrants to the British Isles?

Anglosaxon.

Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.

Your mum sunk in the pool because she had a big butt.

Why didn't the koala climb up the tree?

Comment down below!

I gave the blind kid a gun and said it was a hairdryer.

I gave the blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.

I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

Meeting a girl at the park is good. But parking meat in a girl is better.

Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"

Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"

Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"