The jokes
Hi, my name isn't Pi.
Look up at the sky and wonder why.
Why are you alive?
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit!"
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because he put the wrong sock was put on.
Hehe.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his mom said, "Ven bakac."
Rape is not funny!! What if you were the girl/boy getting raped?
Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.
Kid: Ok.
*Bring kid to the orphanage*.
What do you call my brother in the water?
"Tsunami."
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
Guy 1: "Stop looking at my ass!" Guy 2: "I said look at Uranus." Guy 1: "I'm looking at uranus!" Guy 2: "I said Uranus like the planet!" Guy 1: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Pain. Gained. Anxiety. Fulfilled. Insomnia. Depression. Always with me. Happiness... The one thing I can't have.
What does LGBTQ+ mean? Is it the premium version of GAY?
Okay, who the heck is watersharky? He just tries to "help" people, and he just posts stupid songs because he acts like he is depressed.
when the sus.
If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.
If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.
Me: dozes off while driving. Everybody else on the passenger plane on September 11.
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.