The jokes
Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?
They were all family sized.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
He hated the Poles.
Wanna see a joke? Open the front-facing camera.
When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What’s a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE.
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
What is the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's dad?
The boomerang comes back.
POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE: I wanna be the berry best, like no one ever was.
To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel across the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to under-strand, the lower that's in psyche.
Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a world you must de-blend, Poke him on!
Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!!
Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all!
Poke him on!
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!
What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
Straw-berries.
Why did the Irishman use three condoms? To be sure, to be sure, to be sure!
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?
Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"
Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"
Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
What did one nut say to the other nut? "The guy in the middle's a dick!"
What did Cinderella do when she got the ball?
She gagged and took it like a champ.