The jokes
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
Did you know the "w" in Africa stands for water?
A pedophile pulls up to little Jonny, lowers his window and asks, "hey little boy, if I give you a lolly, will you come in my car?" Little Jonny replies, "Give me the whole packet and I’ll come in your mouth."
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.
The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"
Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."
The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
Where did Tanner go during the 9/11 terrorist attack?
Everywhere.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.
I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
The reason I love Stephen Hawking is because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
You're adopted, that's why your mom or dad never came back with the milk!
Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.