Sympathy jokes

"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.

When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”

He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”

So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.

My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.

Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”

My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭

Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!

My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄

Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.

Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.

I'm sorry and I apologize mean the same thing, except at a funeral.

In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"

I once went up to an orphan and they were crying, and I asked where their parents are, and they started crying more.

Sorry to hear you feel like poo!

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.

My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."

People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

I'm sorry for your loss.

It is going tibia okay.

Like if you know someone is emo.

My friends: Ugh, why are you so lazy and no fun?

My parents: Why can't you be like your siblings?

My teacher: I don't care if you're depressed, focus on your study!

The songs: We understand you :)

Hey, can't wait to meet you! So join the crippling depression family!!

I comforted my friend about his wife's death, until I found out who did it.

I like when people say they hate me because we have something in common. <3