At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"
A three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat will be closed.
Stranger 3: how to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?
Stranger 1: you can't!
Stranger 2: you can
Stranger 3: how?
Stranger 2: by using the same idea of russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff but the difference that he can sleep and he will have a food for 30 days and toilet too.
Stranger 3: great idea, but who can we try first?
Stranger 1: you all gays are evil monsters
Stranger 2: i think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy let's try this experi-
(the chat has been closed by stranger 1)
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used too, but don't anymore.
Person: why'd you stop?
Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
what's I gay persons favorite meal? meat with white sticky stuff.
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What do TVs and girls have in common ? They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
What do you call a cow with stuff growing on it-moscow
Why are people joking about this stuff?
guess how i got away from my mom saying i can't play fortnite, i took my stuff and I ran to Iran
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Becasue he was too stuffed.
A group of friends went outside to pick up stuff one of the friends said it is windy as heck out.
What did the 90s rocker Space Engineer in multiplayer Miner yell at the Troll stealing his stuff?
Hey! give me my Nickelback!
So you get a new job, and here something about this guy named mike, The next day you go into the office and mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and Rainbows and stuff, then, a co-worker comes up and says "No one told you mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY *clap clap clap clap*".
p=person (not original ''pun'')
p1:hey girl p2: i got a bf! p1: well i got a lamborghini aventador, a bugatti super sports, a yacht and a private plane. p2: bf stand for breakfast. p2: oh and also where did you get all that stuff? p1:gta5 p2: you motherfucker!!! (communications with this person are now blocked)
who delete my stuff??? woooow you racist just because i hispacin
Dont trust Atoms...... They make up stuff
today i explain what things are fake. serial killers, clowns, billy, fairies, your life,God,Jesus,your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff, youtube,your dad,scientists,teachers,God,Jesus, and Billy.
stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake.Alot of idiots will read this.
Digging stuff up is too hard
Guess Necrophilia isn’t for everybody
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the chicken had 4 chicks and a cheating hen who all sucked out all his money he got from his extremely boring job, and he finally got some peace for himself and was going to the local bar, which was on the other side of the road. He walked in the door, wings sagging, feathers catching on his claws. The bartender eyes him as he sits on a bar stool. "Chuck, how ya doin'? The missus doin' good?" "Just give me the hardest stuff you got. I'm done." This caught the bartender by surprise. "Chuck, come on, don't be sayin' that. Just look to the future and you'll be fine." "What future?" Chuck replied in a huff. "My wife and chicks are so goddamn pestering sometimes, you know? But if I leave, they'll all suffer, and I don't want that either. Oh, God, Phil, I don't know what to do." "You know, you've got a good heart for a rooster your age," Phil answered. "We need that in these parts. I'm tellin' ya, there will be more than what's happenin' right now, ya know, life's got all its gears turning for ya, and there's just a bit slow right now. The gears haven't been oiled in a while, but who's the only one who can fix that?" Chuck knew the answer. "Me." Phil returned with his drink. "McClucken's Whiskey, on the house." Chuck glanced at his glass. He held it up to the light. His face reflected in an aura around it, neither looking forward to the light and not backward, either. "No thanks, Phil," Chuck sighed, "But thanks anyways." He went to get up out of his chair. Phil called as he walked out the door, "Just remember to oil the gears every now and then, eh?" Chuck's comb flapped in a cool breeze brought in by the season. A bench was nearby, staring across to the other side. And he just sat there, sat there thinking. Cars blurred to a colorfully colorless nothingness as he thought in silence. He could see an open window in his mind, full of chickens: a sassy hen, two identical sportish chick; another, older than the two, and body bristling with blue comb-dye and the latest thing he watched online fresh on his Chickstagram page; finally, the first of the bunch, shy, bookish, with a secretly courageous soul. They all looked... worried, worried for the rooster who guided them, helped them grow, supported them... and all looking out of the window back at him. A single tear welled in Chuck's eye. The chicken walked back across the road to his family, to his friends, and to the life he was content with.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.