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Student jokes

Dumb kid: What does homework mean?

Teacher: J0K35? (J0K35 is me btw) can you explain to DK what homework means, please?

Me:

"Half Of My Existence Wasted On Random Knowledge"

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.

Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.

And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.

Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."

Gym Teacher: "That's alright."

Other Kid: "Hush!"

I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."

Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.

What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?

One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.

Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.

Student: OOFT.

Teacher: Who are we missing?

Student: Your parents.

Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Groupings.

Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Schedule.pdf

Dear Grad Parents, Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear. There will be more information to follow in the coming days. Thank you.

(Shared from the "Wolves E-genda" app.)

The teacher is asking you a question.

Teacher: "If your biggest dream came true, what would you be?"

Me: "Dead."

So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:

Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?

Student: PIGS!

Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?

Student: SHEEP!

Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.

Student: IK where that comes from!

A FAT COW! 😂😂

Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.

Student: My name is Buttitches.

Teacher: Please tell us your real name.

Student: Buttitches.

Teacher: I’m calling the police.

Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.

Student: Buttitches.

Police: *shoots gun.*

A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."

High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣

A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"