Today we had the best adventure ever! We started playing in the yard and doing ramps in a party van! It all started when Timmy and I were playing in the yard and a white rusty van drove up to our yard. A nice man told us to get in. We said we would love to go but our mommies wouldn't want us to go. The man said your mommies told me it was OK to come. We hopped in the back and sped away super fast! The man gave us some candy, but Timmy and I were not hungry, so we didn't eat it. We saved it for later. After a while, I was wondering where we were going. I was about to ask the man, but then there was a whooping sound and some flashing blue lights! ̈Hey they want to party with us! ̈Timmy yelled over the whooping. ̈Party van! ̈I yelled. Timmy and I started dancing and whooping and the van began driving faster, doing crazy race car stunts, and jumps! Then we noticed the lights and whooping were coming from some cars that were following us. The cars were black and white and said ̈P O L I C E” on the side. We started to wave to them, but then the van did a HUGE jump and we flew out of the back of the van to the side of the road into some dirt, but it didn't really hurt that much. The van drove off without us, and I was really sad. Then Timmy told me the dirt was perfect for making mud pies. I was happy again. We played in the dirt awhile, until some people dressed like firefighters found us and brought us home. And then you asked me what happened. ̈Isn’t that right mommy? ̈
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"
His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."
A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
In india whowever live facing road side this is for them Whenever it starts raining heavily our homes turn into pool facing homes cause the roads disappear
I named my cousins parrot Michell and then I started to call Mikey Mikey right I’m starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say Mikey Mikey and he says mekiy meiky 😆
Little mickel was on a tree he feel down and hurt his knee he sat down and started to cry and from there he would never lie
Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."
Chapter 1. "Kid teacher"
Mrs. Lewis: Class, I want everyone to look at their textbooks and find a reasonable essay topic. My suggestion is page 232 or 678. Now this essay counts as the final grade for the semester, now do it or you will repeat 5th grade again! Now turn to page 100 and we'll start reading from there, do you all understand?
Neilela: Yes ma'am, quick question, we don't have to do it today ... do we?
Mrs. Lewis: Yes! Is today!
Andrua: It sounds boring and all I have to do today is be a big jerk who gives way to much of instructions.
Mrs.Lewis : Anyway, let's get to work.
56 hours later.
Mrs. Lewis: Kids, when I call you, please tell me what you liked about your eassy. When I call your name Carl.
Carl: Why me. Yes?
Mrs.Lewis : What did you like about the story Carl?
Carl: Um ... I liked it when ... um ... um ... um ... um ...
Jeklen: He didn't even read the story because he's to busy trying to look up the letter "J" and its meaning!
Carl: Jeklen shut up and stop biting your hair.
Jeklen: At least I know what the letter "J" is.
Mrs. Lewis: Class, please listen. Carl, did you read the story that I asked you?
Carl: Will, not really because you were the one reading it in class, so ...
Vronica: For real!
Carl: Mhmmm
Mrs.Lewis: Listen class, this homework needs to be done today! DO IT!
Kimbriel: Ms. Lewis, I have a lot of questions about tonight's homework.
Mrs.Lewis: Yes?
Kimbriel: You assigned so many things just for a little test! What?
Mrs.Lewis: I need a break! Peyton, you're in charge!
All students: NO, NOT PEYTON !!!!!!
Peyton: Me? In charge? Of the class?
Jessica: Wow, but you're all about the bordom!
Peyton: Shut up! yeeeeeeee
Peyton: Ms. Lewis, there must be a mistake, how can I be in charge? I'm 11 ... I think ...
Ari: To think that yesterday she thought she was 8 years old.
Oh sorry ... I think.
Mrs. Lewis: Have you ever heard of a teacher's vacation?
All students: That not a thing!
I never heard it ...
Mrs. Lewis: Will, me and Ms. Sumrall, we are going on a "teacher vacation", we can do it because we become calmer or we don't get angry at the students. AND WE CAN DO IT!
Khloe: Why?
Mrs. Lewis: Because I am an adult.
Ms. Sumrall: Is Petrina ready?
Ms. Lewis: Yes, thank goodness for this!
Kenya: Bye? "Chapter 2" To be continued...
A woman once didn't return home for the night and the next morning when she arrived home her husband started questioning her about where has she been. She lied saying she slept at one of her friends. The man proceeded to call all her friends all of which denied her sleeping at them the previous night.
Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning his wife started questioning him and he lied saying he slept at a friend. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at them the previous night and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!
or I dont know!
prince / lord tallie Leave Gwen alone for once! by the way you are an idiot!
Gwen The prince! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE TOTALLY DEAD AND SO I STARTED DATING TANNER! But don't worry, I'll break up with him immediately!
prince / lord tallie Oh don't worry, I love it! By the way, can't we do our late night talk? My wyfi comes out just before we can! I love you even more! 😘
Gwen Oh thanks! I thought you would hate me! And yes, we don't have to chat at night, but the days are going to be choppy. I love you!
Gwen Bo to boring jokes
Tanner Fuck off
Kenya Bailey Excuse me?
Gwen Tanner, it was all my fault, I shouldn't have tried to date you so fast and did you see the talk about the boring jokes?
Zre Who the hell is tanner?
Ha Wait a second, he's your boyfriend!
Kenya Bailey Okay guys, let's not get into your business, okay! Let's see funny jokes
ha Yes you're right
Zre Ok
Zre Still, who the hell is Tanner! But hey, this your toddler's toy! Even though i thought i was prince
Gwen I thought Prince was dead so I started dating Tanner, then I realized Prince was alive.
he entered (kinder garten) class the {teacher said luce start for us and say the alphabet) he said a b c d e f g H I J K* just kidding lmno* laugh my nose off (teacher go to the Office right now young man ) i don't understand he just said jokes to the teacher lmao :D
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."
Gwen (😐): Addison, I don't mean to be mean but ur rlly starting tb an asshole!
Addison (😞): I don't know what u mean. I've always been an asshole. That is why people pound me in the asshole!
Kariah (🖕🏼) : that sad!
Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play a alphabet game so she said what word starts with a lil johnny raised he hand fast but she know that he I would say ass so she picked on Sally and she said Apple and she said what word starts with b little johnny raised his hand as fast as he could but she knew that he would say something like bitch so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said banana so she went all the way to w Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter w she could not think of a cuss word that could start with w so she called on Little Johnny Little Johnny said wow the teacher said good job then Little Johnny said like wow too elephants fucking
As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins:
Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still.
Devil: Did she just twitch?
A: No. She didn’t twitch.
D: I think I saw her finger twitch.
A: Well, even if it did, it’s her thigh the techs are aiming at.
D: She wants to scratch her face.
A: Stop it! She can handle staying still a few minutes.
D: But her cheek has an itchy spot.
A: She can just let it itch. She doesn’t need to scratch every itch. She will just have to think about something else.
D: Wow...that cheek is really itchy...
A: Think about: Flowers. Acrylic painting. Did the trash get picked up this morning? Her grandson Oliver’s smile...
D: How about a song?
A: Good idea!
D: How about... “Never going to give you up. Never going to let you down....”🎶
A: OMG! You just Rick-rolled her! She’s in the middle of a treatment! You know that’s the only part she knows!
D: That’s okay. She’ll just repeat the words she knows over and over and over and....
A: Don’t be so mean!
D: “Never going to give you up...🎶”
A: Stop it!
D: Her toe! Her big toe! Did you see that? She just twitched it!
A: No, she didn’t.
D: I bet it screwed up the test and they have to start over....
A: She didn’t screw anything up!
D: She totally screwed the test up and they were more than halfway done. If they start over at the beginning, she will get too much radiation, and they will end up slicing her whole leg off!
A: That’s not how it works...
D: Or they just stop all together and she only gets a partial treatment and her tumor won’t get enough radiation.
A: They know what they are doing!
D: ...And it won’t shrink the tumor and the whole thing fails. And the doctor will have to amputate her leg.
A: No! No! No! That’s not how any of this...
D: ...And when they amputate, it will be at the hip and not below the knee because the tumor is in her thigh.
A: Stop this right now!!
D: “Never going to give you up....🎶”
A: Stop!
D: “...never going let you down....🎶”
A: I’m not going to let you...
D: “Never going to give you up...🎶” .
Techs: Okay. That’s it, Tammi! We are finished! How are you doing?
Tammi: ...Oh, I’m fine.....
Gregg says to his friend which is a girl and Says" hey umm do you umm want to do something?" And the girl says" umm sure why not." Gregg says" well then we have to go somewhere secretive." the girl says " umm well ok." Gregg says "great" So Gregg bring Sally to a tree so no one can see them and then Sally says "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?" Gregg says "well pull down your pants and all show ya" Sally says "ok it sounds fun" And then gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy and he goes up and down up and down up and down and then Sally starts to moan more and more and then suddenly a teacher here's her moan and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing and then the teacher gets in on it and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher and then the teacher moans and then the whole school makes their own sex groups and the whole school has threesomes... THE END
jack and jill went up a hill to smoke weed jack and jill got high and jack ripped jills close right off her then jill ripped jacks close off jack wen they were fully naked they started to kiss but jack stoped jill said i know you wana jack said no but jill jumped on that candy stick any way jack gave in to jill. jill got off then let jack suck her candy stick jill sucked on jacks candy stick
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
Me starts a cult just for fun... JuSt FOr fUn
A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.
The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.
That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."
