"my friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat and what happens next is really weird"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""the tongue gets stuck were his throat and starts to guh-gugh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever Again..:/
What is long, hard and has cum in it? CuCUMber.
What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? SiX
A girl in my class started barking and I yelled out "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her and I felt bad after school I asked to drive her home and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one I yelled " THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. "She obviously has COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste."
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class. I started playing the angry birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like an bomb, and I landed on the ground
What starts with a P and ends in an S? (hint: men have it and women want it) Pockets
For Some Reason People Make Fun Of My Name Because It Rimes With Something That Starts With An F
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
I was joking about self harm to my friend and she told me to CUT it out, I couldn't even laugh. When we were at the self checkout she started scanning my arms, I asked her what she was doing she said, ̈Trying to see if it beeps, ya think id get it to work if I scanned your thighs? ̈ I said, ̈Nah bro you'd overload the system if you put it there. ̈
The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. “I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?” “From my father.” said Johnny. “Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.” “I do.” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”
Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity So I got another one free of charge
my mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge would you me: No Attack on titan music starts playing in my head
I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said spiderman, no way home. I said "Proabaly becuase its so relatable, right?" He started crying I dont know why.
There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the tom holland spiderman movies with me and he started crying..
What did the priest say during the christening 'So anyway I started blasting'
There were 5 people on an airplane. 1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world
The plane takes off, A good, solid 1 hour in, The pilot comes out and says "Ok guys, I have good news and bad news, Bad News is the plane is gonna crash, The good news is that I have 4 parachutes" The pilot says to his passengers, " Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes, People depend on me" Took a parachute and went out. The businessman stands up and says " Well I'm a businessman, I run companies" Took a parachute and went out The smartest person in the world stands up and says " I'm the smartest person in the world, No one is smarter than me" Took a parachute and went out Now the minister says to the school child " Well God has given me a good life, I want you to take the last parachute" and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says " Why are you smiling?!, We're about to die!!!!" and the school child says to the minister "Well actually not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag
I watched a documentary called Redline Carrera: birth of the memes. It all started with Paul Walker.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
