Spook jokes

My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.

Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.

On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.

What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?

5% of atheists have seen a ghost.

5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.

When it's been Halloween for a few months, but there's still a body hanging from your neighbor's tree.

There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."

What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.

I was going 80 in a school zone and the speed bump was screaming.

What do incest families do on Halloween?

Pumpkin.