SOS jokes

Why do orphans go to church?

So they finally have someone to call father.

My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!

Yo momma's so fat, she was the iceberg in the Titanic.

Emo jokes are not funny, so cut it out.

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?

Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.

High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.

Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.

High school crush: Who is it?

Me: You.

Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)

Me: Fuck that.

Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.

Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.

Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.

Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!

Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.

Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:

11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.

Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her tit, I got a mouthful of knee.

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in 'em!

Anyone on this app is homeless and has no point in life. Well, I'm on this app 24/7, so do I have no point in life 24/7, or am I just weird and unwanted?

I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)

Ur dad is gay!

Omg! I didn't mean that. Please don't tell ur mom.

I'm so so so sry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"

Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.