SOS jokes

Bleach solves so many problems:

Stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation of orphans.

Comebacks when someone say: Bully: "Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic." Say: "At least its brighter than your future."

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.

You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.

Your mom is so ugly that even Medusa turned to stone from looking at her!

Your mom is so overweight that she broke the stairway to heaven.

Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.

Okay so not a joke but like- There's a fucking noose in my school gym.

At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

Why did the orphan go to a church?

So he could call someone "father."

Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?

So they can always see their parents.

After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"

The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.

"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.

The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your mom gay, And so are you.

Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. He got invited to dinner with his neighbor. Little Johnny's dad said if he mentioned "ears" he will get a spank.

So Johnny looked in the bassinet. They were talking about the new baby. Johnny's mum said, "What beautiful eyes."

"That is great," said little Johnny, "because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses."

I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.

They said: "Because I lost my parents."

I said: "Let's find them."

They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.

So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"

Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.

Yo, your hairline is so small that you're bald.

Your hairline is so dusty that it got musty.