Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
What Minecraft mob do autistic people relate to the most?
The Enderman.
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
I don't need a punchline. Karens are the only joke I need.
People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.
A Karen is so stupid, she can't even cross the hairline!
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
I'm gonna finally put a stop to the fucking drama. I saw people bullying other people for years; Gwen was not the only one. No longer will I put up with this. No longer will newcomers. For God's sake, just do jokes! Please! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don’t even know each other, but we're still going through this same fucking shit every fucking day! Just make jokes, people! That is why it’s called “Worst Jokes ever” not “Bully people forever.” So shut the hell up and get to joking! Jesus! The only reason why I came here was to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don’t even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fucking world!!!
“Addison, fuck off already, you're only 10 years old. What do you know?” I might be 10, but during my time here, the tragedies and horror I've experienced on this website have shaped me into someone more mature, able to share this wisdom. And if you're gonna laugh at me, spit in the face of me and my generous teachings, you will fall. I swear to God, I will make you wish you could never feel pain. But that would hurt me more than you. Please, stop the drama. That's all I ask. Together, we can make this website great again, like it once was.
Teacher told me to turn in my essay, but I ain't no snitch, fool.
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?
They'll say "yea."
Why are all the emos banned from Six Flags?
Because they keep cutting in line.
"White beta males and fake alpha males are a joke that goes for POC men too."
Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.
They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."
"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.
