So jokes

Yo mama is so ugly, she is the reason Slenderman has no eyes.

Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.

Yo mama so fat, her swimming is Sea World.

Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.

I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.

Why are dolphins so smart?

Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy, but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock ‘cause Jill’s real name is Randy.

Yes, this joke is stolen.

I did a walk today, but it was so much better, and a walk home. I had dinner. Night was good fun at home. Night was good night. I was a little off, but you were so fun to be a night.

Yo momma so stupid, she pooped in the shower.

Yo mama so old, she was Jesus' nanny! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

My son said he burnt food on accident, so I told him he was an accident.

Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"

Friend 1: Eyyy gurl

Me: Hey! (Fake smile)

Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?

6 hours later

Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?

Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?

Yo mama so dumb, she tried to put m&m's in alphabetical order.

So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed.

Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."

Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"

Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo, so I gave them a halo.

joe: Are your mom and dad nice?

zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.

joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.

Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.