Sleep paralysis jokes

Orgasm

A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"

  • 8
  • Pill

    Mom: Wake up!

    Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...

    Mom: Why are you disappointed?

    Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...

  • 2
  • Memes

    Sleep

    Sleep paralysis for the first time and this is what I see except it's face and body is way more stringy and hollow.

    An oil painting depicts a person in bed, looking scared, and two ghostly, pale figures looming over them. One figure is above and the other is below the bed. The upper ghostly figure has a skull-like face with a long, thin mouth and hair flowing behind it.

    Experience

    I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.

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  • Monster

    My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.

  • 1
  • Dream

    I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.

    Community