Root Vegetable jokes

I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.

I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.

The broccoli says, "I look like a small tree." The mushroom says, "I look like an umbrella." The walnut says, "I look like a brain." And the banana says, "Can we please change the subject?"

What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair.

So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"

Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?

Because they can’t ketchup.