My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock, I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick but he said it doesn’t taste that bad so I’ll give it a shot
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner." The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus. The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz. The third lady says, "I never had a husband." The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo." They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying. The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse." "How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
I had recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.
We found out that she died............... from an autopsy
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win - however, no pun in ten did.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like
Recently I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker down town in Manhattan, New York thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.
There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt........ Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
