A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
I like trains.
*train hits him*
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
What do you call a train with bubble gum?
A chew chew train.
Oh man, I'm depressed.
What do you call a train that stalls?
The little engine that couldn't!
Are you a train? Because I want you to run over me. :)
Fence 1 was thinking and Fence 2 said, "Are you still on the fence about running away?"
Fence 1 said, "Yeah, I was thinking of running on the RAILROAD."
One day, Billy cow wandered off to the railroad tracks where his mother always told him not to go. His mother asked him where he had gone when he got home. He replied that he was just going for a graze. His neighbor later told his mother he had saw him at the railroad tracks. What would you call Billy cow now?
Ground Beef.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
What part of the train goes "toot toot"?
The caboose.
