A son asked his mom: "Why are the lines in the LGBTQ community flag straight?"
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
Hi, how are you doing today?
Guess what, chicken butt?
The teacher is asking you a question.
Teacher: "If your biggest dream came true, what would you be?"
Me: "Dead."
A FedEx plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa, but the cargo door wasn't shut properly, and only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?
Time's up! You took too long; you only had 4 seconds to answer it.
How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.
How did she survive?
Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off, but she was rescued 8 minutes later.
Father, then the priest says, "Son, Holy Spirit, amen." No, I was asking you a question, Father.
Hi 👋 I was wondering...
F1, F2, F3, do you know what’s after F3?
- F4, F U, then last F U Q.
What is
What is playing with you?
When are you from Delaware? You know!!! 📦
What is a good night's sleep, and what do I have for dinner today is what [I want to know].
Question: What is the difference between a morbid joke and a dark joke?
Answer: One is 10 babies in a trash can; the other is a baby in 10 trash cans.
What is the difference between a human and human rights, and a tree tree, and a house that has to?
What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do? You can do dinner. Was that it?
Why are you gay?
What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?
Question: What's the smallest thing on earth?
Answer: Your brain.
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead.
The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."
