Polypropylene jokes

"What do we want?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

"When do we want them?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.

Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.

My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.

So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...

...their new slogan?

The Quicker Pecker Upper.