Plug-in jokes

I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...

Good news is, I got one sick selfie!

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because he forgot to plug in the charger.

Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.

What?

The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Discord.

Discord who?

I need discord to plug in the phone.

"Did you guys make sure Stephen was plugged in?"

Why did he die so soon? Oh, I know, he forgot to plug in his charger!

How do trees get online? -- They just log in.

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"

His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."

Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."

How do you surprise a blind guy? Leave the plunger in the toilet.

A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!