Plug-in jokes

I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...

Good news is, I got one sick selfie!

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because he forgot to plug in the charger.

Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.

What?

The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Discord.

Discord who?

I need discord to plug in the phone.

"Did you guys make sure Stephen was plugged in?"

Why did he die so soon? Oh, I know, he forgot to plug in his charger!

A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

How do trees get online? -- They just log in.

How do you surprise a blind guy? Leave the plunger in the toilet.

A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.