Plow jokes

What's the best part about plowing your cousin?

- It makes your sister jealous.

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?

Give her a shovel.

A black n***a crashes a neighborhood barbecue, bragging about his 'hood credentials' while hogging all the ribs and collard greens. The host calls him out, 'Yo, pay up or get out. Ain't no freebies here.' He laughs it off, 'Man, I run this block!' But the host's burly brother, who's been grilling the whole time, snarls, 'Wrong, fool. Time to settle the score.' He pins him against the picnic table, wraps a chain leash around his neck from the dog run, edges him with a vibrating basting brush slathered in hot sauce, and then plows his ass deep and hard, grunting, 'Now you're the main course, spicier than the jerk chicken!'

What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?

They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.

Talking about planets with my nephew.

He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.

Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "Mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potatoes." *SMACK*! Mother slapped Mark. She then asked Suzie, "What would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatoes," said Suzie. *SMAACK*! She slapped Suzie. "Okay, Johnny, what would you like to eat?" "Well.... I sure as hell don't want no fucking potatoes."

What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.

Why do four polish heteroflexable men like to suck on four of the cow's udders? Because a bull has only one.

My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.

Q: What's the best part about gardening?

A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.