
Pendulum jokes
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.
"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."
"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."
I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?
The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather?
The feather.
The rope stopped the kid.
A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?
The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?
A: It left him/her/them hanging.
Community talk
Since this site is so FUCKING dead all the time, I have a fun game for y'all to play! Every day, there's going to a poll where YOU guys control what a person named "Jamal" does. Story number 1 is going to be "BBC Bounty: Cartel Craves That N***a Nut".
Before we start, *THIS STORY HAS GRAPHIC CONTENT, DON'T READ IF YOU FIND IT OFFENSIVE (obviously no N-words and they're only censored because of Matt's rule). And hone… Read more