Pendulum jokes

I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.

"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."

"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."

I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!

What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?

Answer: They both hang.

It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!

Guys to wind the clock up?

An emo girl jumped out of a tree at the same time a feather fell to the ground... What hit the ground first?

The feather, the girl was stopped by a rope.

What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?

The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.

Mooning is very astrological!

Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.