P1 jokes

Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.

P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?

P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?

P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).

P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*

Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.

P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.

P2: Airplane wifi.

P = Person (not original "pun")

P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!

(Communications with this person are now blocked)

P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?

P2: I don't know.

P1: Wow, you sick fuck!

What’s the difference between a pile of corpses and a Mclaren P1?

I don’t have a garage.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."

In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.

Why?

They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.

What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.

1+1? Too hard.