Off jokes

What do you call a group of Emo kids?

Suicide Squad.

What jumps and never let's go?

An Emo kid.

I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.

Dead.

Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?

The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.

I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.

The reason I love Stephen Hawking is because they roll off the tongue so nicely.

I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.

God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.

How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?

By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.

  • 6

    • How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.

    How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.

    So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the

    A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."

    When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."

    Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"

    Son:...... um

    My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

    I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

    A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.

    The lady says, "Come again!"

    The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

    I wrote a few jokes:

    What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.

    Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.

    What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.

    Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”