Off jokes

What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?

You can drop her off anywhere.

What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building?

Catching it with a pitchfork.

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.

A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"

The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"

The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."

How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?

Call her on the phone.

What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?

It got pissed off.

Why did they call off the leper hockey game?

There was a face-off in the corner.