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Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.

Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.

Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.

But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.

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    • My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”

    That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].

    I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

    In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”

    Quote Of The Day: Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.

    Love you guys, and hope today was amazing!

    Peace out! <3

    I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

    Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.

    After a while, a student stands up.

    Teacher: So you think you are stupid?

    Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.

    I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

    – Rodney Dangerfield

    "Do you have a noose?"

    "Nose?"

    "Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

    "I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

    "No."

    *Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

    I asked my girlfriend if we could try my rape fantasy last night. She said no. It was the best night of my life.

    Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

    The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

    One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.

    Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.

    Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."