No jokes
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
What do you call a chicken with no legs? Ground chicken đ¤Łđđ Get WRAY'DDDDD!
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.
Remember that 18 year old girl I set you up with?
Why not?
Too old.
In the words of Kerk Cobane: "Check this sweet no scope!"
Yo mama so fat, she's the reason why Slenderman has no eyes.
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
Can a box match? No, but a tin can.
When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."
A man walked into a bar. No wait, a horse,
A man walked into a horse.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.
If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Not Sally.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldnât she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Whoâs there?" "Not Susie, sheâs still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldnât Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
What do you call a bear with no ears? A b.
Yeah, that joke was unbearable.
Two hunters are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and Hunter #1 dials 911.
Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"
Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods, fell asleep."
Operator: "Check if he's/she's (not assuming genders) dead."
*Operator hears a distant gunshot*
Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"
I drove past Wendyâs the other day. No other stores were open, so I asked, âWendyâs openinâ then?â
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.