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A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a confession." The doctor asks, "What is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis." The doctor looks at her and asks, "Anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies, "No, just a penis."

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    • If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.

    No, seriously,

    I'm right behind ya.

    What did the chef on the Titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes? "Oh no, the sink sank!"

    So, a neutron went to a bar. He asked the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender said, "For you, no charge."

    Why doesn't Batman need Robin as a wingman?

    Because he has no problem robbin' your girl.

    A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"

    The son: "I don't know, can I?"

    The mom: "May you?"

    The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"

    Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"

    Why are there no women in the NFL?

    Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?

    Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.

    Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.