Worst Jokes Ever
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.
Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."
Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."
Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."
Bitch: Nice eyebrows.
Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?
Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!
Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT
Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?
Do you want to hear a joke?
Never mind, it’s too punny.
Q: What is a baby's favorite reptile?
A: A rattlesnake.
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.
One man walks up to another and says, "Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping at Main Street?" The guy says, "No." The other guy says, "Oh, he woke up."
Why did the golfer change his pants? In case he got a hole in one!
Stop making moo jokes, they're so annoying!
Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
Why don't orphans go skydiving?
Because they don't have the "Morley."
Which room has no doors and no windows?
A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...
So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."