Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?

Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?

  • 5

    • When you end up pregnant...

    Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" 😂

    Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.

    Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.

    Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race? Because the grass tickles their balls.

  • 7

    • Why can't an orphan make a YouTube channel?

    'Cause they can't make it family friendly.

    If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.

    Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.

    What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?

    The back of my hand.

    Why can't Jesus play hockey?

    He keeps getting nailed to the boards.